Because I’m a W-O-M-A-N

I find myself being very self-deprecating lately, when something in our household goes wrong. I can often be caught saying “Oh well. Guess I’m not getting that ‘Mother of the Year’ award.” or “Sorry honey. There goes my ‘Best Wife’ award.”  Seriously, though. Why do I do that? I was thinking it again earlier when The Goose talked about not having his lunch today. The school calendar has today and tomorrow as half days for parent/teacher conferences. Understood. The school calendar says NO LUNCH for these days. Understood. Oops, maybe not. The Goose informed me that a fellow kindergartener shared his lunch, and his teacher gave him a juice and some chips since he didn’t have a lunch. HUH?? The damn calendar said NO LUNCH. Which I took to mean that the students were released for a half day and lunch was my problem. That was obviously not the case. I guess NO LUNCH really means BRING ONE FROM HOME. Couldn’t they have just said that??

It’s times like this that I feel like an idiot and wonder why I’m so ineffective. today, I stopped myself, and thought of all the crap I did this weekend. Here’s a recrap:

  • 7 loads of laundry
  • cleaned the living room
  • cleaned the dining room
  • cleaned the kitchen
  • cleaned out the turtle tank
  • went grocery shopping for 3 boys, a dog, a cat, 2 birds and myself
  • sent my mom her birthday present
  • bought Halloween costumes for the boys
  • kept the family fed
  • did some online work

And that’s just two days.

This all has reminded me of those cheesy Enjoli ads from the 70s and 80s. Check it out:

Good stuff. I’m still not going to win any “Mother of the Year” awards, but I’m probably not going straight to hell, either. 🙂

Vodka, tequila, and beer, oh my

vodka, tequila, beer, cocktails, mixed drinks, etc.

Did I say I was going to take advantage of Mother’s last few days here? After just 1 night, I may have to hang up my drinking shoes. Sad, sad, sad.

Meshegne decided on Saturday that he wanted to go out. I jumped up and said “OK!” seeing as how he really never wants to go out anymore. He even took me to my favorite pub AND threw darts with me. That’s where the trouble began. Just to give you a little background, Meshegne is a true dart master. Back home, we both played in dart leagues. He played in the league that was one step away from GOD-like. I played in the league that was one step away from the gutter–oh wait, that’s bowling. You get the point. I didn’t suck, but I wasn’t nearly as good as Meshegne. I digress. We played darts. I played God-like. He did not. Much celebratory drinking ensued.

Helpful hint: don’t mix vodka cocktails for staying in, with celebratory shots of tequila when you’re out. Topped with bottles of beer. Never a good combination–especially at my age.

Needless to say, my “mother-of-the-year” nomination is close to being rescinded, seeing as how I spent most of Sunday curled up in a ball on the couch, yelling “Turn that damn thing down!” and “Where’s your father??!!”

I managed to watch about 2 minute of football, think about the laundry, wolf down a burger and a soda, and nap for 6 hours. I guess I’d better pull out the Geritol and Depends, seeing as how my birthday is pending and it appears I need to trade in my ID for an AARP card.